Hwy 62 Art Tours this year was a major success!
From selling journals, calendars & kimonos, to selling GREAT artwork right off the walls, to making new friends via sharing my artwork, connecting with older ones-
Seeing people smiling and full of joy as they caught their first glimpses of my display,
giving away little "free art" to the kids that came through - and Importantly, to me - seeing the 40+ brand new artworks that I created this year, all on the wall, all together-
It felt pretty massive. It was a huge "pat on the back" moment for me!
For a large part of the year, I didn't think I could pull it off - dealing with losing two beloved women in the family within months of each other, had me feeling unable to create. In the end, as I described to viewers that everything but one piece was brand new this year - and that it helped me process my grief - it made sense to me that this was literally my emotional-year on canvas. And that was very interesting to me - because I hadn't thought of it that way, until it came out of my mouth.
See, you don't expect yourself to be productive when dealing with that amount of tragedy and loss. But, evidently, I threw myself into my work - and some good came out of it, even if it was not at all what I expected...
The strong, creative, and big-hearted spirits of these women we lost, ultimately encouraged me to keep going - to keep being colorful even when I didn't feel like it - to keep trying to practice audacious, creative freedom, even when I felt squashed by the harsh realities of life - to keep at it, keep moving through it.
My husband's Aunt, Roberta, who we lost to cancer, was nearly religious about doing daily journaling, art therapy, yoga and meditation each morning - even when she was very sick. Even towards the very last days. This reminds me, now, of my teacher Peter, who gave talks until just a few days before he passed. Also from cancer. Olivia, Roberta's daughter and my husband's cousin, sang songs about transmuting pain into beauty, saying "grief and praise are one and the same"- and to "breathe, and give thanks" in all things - she passed suddenly this spring... The lives and hearts of these brilliant people really were what inspired me to continue. To tap into my resilience and move through it - because it's just what I do. Art is what I do, no matter what. Just like they were doing what it was that THEY did, not matter what.
There really is a strength in simply having known such beautiful people, even if they are gone and we feel so broken - we honor them by being like them, we honor them by seeing ourselves as they saw us... In one of my last visits with Roberta, she said I was a warrior of love. I could hardly believe that, I nearly lost it - but then I began to embody it within my own mind. I started to shift my perspective of myself over to what others who love me, believe that I am. It took some time, and it is still shifting - But that shift has been profound.
The ending of this year feels, in many ways, like the completion of a long cycle.
I liken it to the life of a butterfly.
In 2020, I came out to the desert a weak worm, and went into my chrysalis. I saw many old relationships falling away, old habits, old mindsets - I went within, and experienced a lot of change, loss, aggressive pruning of the garden of my life, transformation...
At the same time, I was re-forming and growing, even when I couldn't see it...
And once everything was just about as pared back as you can imagine, and I felt worried that the pruning would never stop- I looked back and realized how much good change had come through me - I came out of the cocoon. And through my artwork, at this show, I could see that I have glorious wings! Maybe I've had them all along, but I can see them now, and I am eternally grateful!
I remembered who I was, through all of this - and in many ways, I have come into a new version of myself - a version who is steadfast in the path of love, shining as a beacon of undimmable light, grounded in the truth of myself and my gifts, strong in knowing what I really want out of life - and fully embodying the version of "me", the human-spirit-combo, that will take me all the way till my own death.
We don't know how long we have on this earth. And even so, we shouldn't spend our time in anxiety, wondering when the other shoe will drop - instead we should see ourselves as the people who love us, see us - as shining stars - and step into our lives with joy, in the inherent freedom that we are, the inherent magic that we are, and flow with the radiant presence of reality. No holds barred! Don't hold back! Love boldly, shine brightly, and never forget the ALL that you are.
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As Olivia (aka Firefly) sang, "You brighten as you open."
Amen, sister.
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